Q: As the sister of the bride, I’m expected to give a toast at her wedding. I’m not great at public speaking – how do I give a thoughtful and meaningful speech, but not sound sappy and boring?
A: This is an excellent question and a timely one. I recently attended a wedding where the best man gave a 17:37! minute speech. (I know this exact time as I had set the stopwatch on my phone.) There are many important elements to making a successful toast and too much time isn’t one of them. If you aren’t comfortable using your own words, borrow someone else’s – read a poem, a piece of prose or a song lyric.
The following dos & don’ts should set you up for a terrific tribute.
DO:
- introduce yourself and the nature of your relationship with the honoree
- start with a funny or unknown fact/story about the guest of honor
- acknowledge the reason for the gathering
- ask everyone to raise their glasses as you finish with a sentimental and heartfelt wish
- smile when you are speaking
- rehearse the gist of what you intend to say
DON’T:
- be drunk & belligerent when delivering your speech – never goes over well
- talk too fast or too quietly
- go over 5 minutes, you most likely won’t be the only one to give a toast and guests can get antsy
- be nasty, sarcastic (unless it is about yourself and illustrates how wonderful the recipient is) or mean spirited
- talk at length about a departed family member – it puts a sullen mood on the happy occasion and shifts the focus from the guest of honor
- ask for audience participation
If you truly feel that you won’t be able to deliver the toast comfortably & confidently, ask if you may give yours at the rehearsal dinner which will be smaller and made up mostly of family.
salut,
xxoo.
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